Bums 'R' Us


I have to admit I've given very little thought to the human posterior -- especially my own-- until now.

There are times, every now and then, that most people do consider their rear ends, like when it doesn't quite fit in our favourite pair of pants, or when we sit down on something hard, soft, cold or hot.  We might notice a jiggling sensation back there when we jog.  Certainly, that "pins and needles" feeling can sometimes set in if we sit on concrete for any length of time.

But generally speaking, the hind quarters are  innocuous body parts, a favourite subject of British bathroom humour and ranking rather low in the ratings of human anatomy.  Let's face it.  Our brains are fascinating and complex. Our hearts and lungs keep us alive, for heaven's sakes. Our eyes are both windows on the world, and windows into our souls. Our legs take us everywhere we want to go and our arms bring that which is far away closer to us.

But our bums?  They're just there. They are gluteus, and they are maximus. They need very little attention.

So I was shocked at just how pleasant a heated car seat could be.

You see, our old car bit the dust after seven years and we upgraded to one with a heated seat feature.  Ha, I scoffed.  Like my rump needs some fancy option like that.  I've lived this long without a bum warmer.  I likely won't ever use it.

And then one frosty morning I pushed that little button on the dash.  The one with a picture of a car seat, and squiggly lines radiating up from it.  In seconds, a heavenly warmth suffused my entire lower back and tush, and began radiating down my thighs.  I could feel my whole body relax.  Even my feet and toes, normally blocks of ice in cold weather, began feeling toasty and comfy. This was beyond hedonistic. This was awesome.

Obviously, I'm now a believer.  Heated car seats have to be one of the best inventions ever. And to think of all those winters, freezing my butt off in a cold, stiff bucket seat waiting for the dash vents to deliver a trickle of warmth , first to my face, then much later to everything else.

Bummer.

1 comment:

Jean Sheppard said...

Great post, Jean! It's amazing what simple creature comforts like a warm bottom can do for our benighted souls ...